Feb. 15th, 2004

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Not at all! St Valentines Day was blissfully happy; easily my best ever and marked by many firsts. It was the first time I was physically affectionate with a member of the same sex in a public place. (The first time I'd been physically affectionate in public with anyone but being so with a member of the same sex carries a lot more weight in my opinion because of the (thankfully shifting) social mores of this society.) When I was sure it was him at the airport, I just broke into a run and practically fell into his arms. It was a long time before either of us were willing to let go. I still can't get over how lucky I am to be loved by [livejournal.com profile] ristin when I feel I haven't done anything to deserve such a depth of love. I just can't believe that someone so wonderful, so easily deserving of love, should be so nuts about this poor rat. Though I've had people I've considered partners before, I've never felt something like this before. "Light of my life" doesn't cover it; he's my whole reason for living! It was also the first time I've slept in a bed with another person (when sober--a state I find much more pleasure in now after my ascension). It seems like such simple thing, but it's something that's important to me. The other firsts I don't feel at liberty to discuss in a public forum. ;)

He's got to learn a lot more about my body and its many flaws of which I am ashamed. He loves me and desires me just the same. How is it that I can be so blessed? Tears of happines are welling up in my eyes, so I might have to sign off soon. I'm typing this from the edge of his bed while he sleeps. I'll join him soon. He lies there so innocent, so fragile. Even in his sleep his hand reaches out for me.

He's going to have almost constant contact with this ratty goodness for over a week to see if the spell wears off. I need him more than ever. Don't leave me.

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Marko T. Rat

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